


What are you playing

by winters_child30



Series: If you only knew [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Nogitsune, Nogitsune Effects, Post-Nogitsune, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Secret Crush, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Unrequited Crush, i hope these tags are right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-03-17 04:13:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18957646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winters_child30/pseuds/winters_child30
Summary: Derek and stiles are the main point of focus.After the Nogitsune possesses stiles, it gives out a secret related to Derek that Stiles seems to be holding onto for a while. The Nogitsune does what its best at, playing tricks.Read to find out more...





	1. If you only knew

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone,this is my first fanfiction EVER, and its not entirely based on what happened in teen wolf but just a figment of how much ever i remember.  
> 

Stiles has suddenly gone missing at the middle of the night and the whole pack know what caused this and is on a hunt to find The Nogitsune

************************************************************************************************************************************************

"I'm going to go to the abandoned warehouse in the woods" said Derek his voice layered with concern.

"Ok, The sheriff said he will put in a word with the deputy and arrange for a search team to track stiles " said Scott who was woken up at 12.45 by Melissa who told him that Noah had called her panicking about Stiles.As soon as he heard this he had alerted the pack. Lydia, Scott, Isaac,Allison , Kira,Derek and Chris Argent all split to search every corner of the town to hunt the Nogitsune.

Derek was running through the woods looking for the warehouse when his mind flashed to the first time Derek had met Stiles and the first time stiles had threatened him

 _There he was standing there in a black jacket with short hair while Scott was scrounging through the leaves. Derek saw the look on the teenagers faces and said in a threatening tone "What are you doing here? huh ?This is private property"_  
_"huh...uhmm .. sorry man we didn't know" Stiles stammere_ d.

_The second time was when Derek had gotten into his Dad's car._

_"Just so you know i'm not  afraid of you"said Stiles._

A small smile grew on his face thinking about it.He snapped out of it and proceeded deeper into the woods. It seemed like forever until the warehouse came into his vision, he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

He heard a heartbeat.

Derek let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. In these 2 years he never thought this kid would mean so much to him. He always growled and snapped at Stiles but the truth was that he would almost do anything for him . Initially Stiles was afraid of Derek even though he said he wasn't and Derek just saw him as just another teenager with their annoying attitude, Gradually they both seemed to grow out of it at some point and had formed some sort of bond.

Stiles and Derek grew closer over the summer when Scott and Allison were going through their "honeymoon phase"and later when Scott got cozy with Kira. Stiles would show up to Derek's house and Derek would pretend to be annoyed but was secretly a little happy to have some company. Derek helped Stiles train and taught him some self defense since Stiles always complained of being "a puny human".

Derek slowly approached the warehouse completely wolfed out , being careful not to make any noise, he approached the broken window and slowly peeped in. Derek's heart skipped a beat, Stiles was there, sitting in the dark on a chair with a small light bulb swinging from the ceiling by its wire barely lighting the room. As the light passed Stile's face briefly , Derek saw Stiles's face. Stiles had wounds on his face, and had a blank expression on his face.

Derek heard a noise and hid below the window. He must have accidentally made a noise because when he looked back through the window Stiles was gone. Derek panicked,without thinking and ran inside opening the door "STILES! Are you in here?!"

Something hit him on his head from behind .He held on to the back of his head with one hand and turned ,only to be hit on his face .

As he fell he saw Stiles's silhouette approaching him from he dark with a log in his hand stained red with Derek's blood . He saw what seemed like Stiles, but had a smile on his face that said all kinds of sinister things.

Derek woke up coughing blood with his hands and legs tied to the metal chair surrounded by what seemed to be wolfsbane .Derek heard footsteps and let out a low growl at the approaching silhouette that came into the light making Stil-no-The Nogitsune's features clearer .

The Nogitsune had a scar on his lip and had a bruise on his cheek , his eyes were red and had eye bags like he hadn't slept in years . Stiles's usual hair was now a mess and had this wicked smile on his face that made it pretty obvious , at least to Derek that The Nogitsune was in place of Stiles.

"Derek"the Nogitsune smiled"how foolish are you to fall for something so obvious?"

Derek didn't open his mouth . He just glared at the thing standing in front of him in place of Stiles.

"Oh i see, did you not hear what i said?" the thing mocked.

"I did"Derek growled"i chose to ignore you".

"My, my, what anger ,besides ...since when did you start caring about others Derek?" 

Derek scoffed and looked away.

The Nogitsune turned Derek's face to look at Stil-THE NOGITSUNE. It held him by his chin with their face inches apart. Derek looked right into its eyes with hate.

This thing that had possessed Stiles's body disgusted him. He looked away again.

"Derek" 

That was Stiles's voice .He recognized his voice, but he knew it was a trick ,still looking away from that thing.

"Derek, help me .Please I don't want to be stuck with this thing." 

There was some sort of pleading in his voice that made Derek feel guilty for not looking.

"I'm gonna regret this"whispered Derek as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and looked right at what he hoped would be Stiles. 

"Stiles" Derek whispered, his voice shaky.He recognized him. It was Stiles. Not the Nogitsune.

"Derek please help me"Stiles said his voice shaky and scared. A tear rolled down Stiles's cheek.

Derek tried to reach out and wipe his tear ,but it seemed like the rope around his wrists got tighter.

"Are you ok?"Derek asked in a soft low tone.

There was a sudden change "Oh ,he is better than ok" the Nogitsune said as he moved away from Derek.

"YOU"growled Derek "what did you do to him"

"Derek, don't you trust me?"it cooed .

"Beside What is it that I saw between you 2 "the Nogitsune smirked.

The Nogitsune bent down and held the sides of the chair looking right at Derek"You see ,I  have been in Stiles head and I know what he hates and I know what he hides."

The Nogitsune let out an evil laugh.

"I know what he loves"it cooed"oh wait, let me correct myself."

"I know who he loves"it smiled in a way Derek knew Stiles would never. This thing had evil written all over its face.

"Oh wait no. It's you." it said in a mocking tone looking down at Derek.

Derek looked up right at it ,not in anger .He had a perplexed look on his face, Stiles..loved him?but how..?how didn't Derek know this...He didn't know what to say.Sure Stiles had somehow had a special place among others, but the more he thought about it the more he understood. He realized that he had some sort of strong feeling for Stiles,he didn't know what it was, but he felt helpless at the situation he was currently in.

"My,my teenage love, what a wonderful thing it is.....Wouldn't u know Derek?"it mocked bending down looking at Derek.

The Nogitsune stood up straight and said "Besides, what would you know about love Derek? Everyone you have been with has either tried to kill you or used you to get something.Oh. And how could i forget...." he turned to face Derek who was looking down" Paige" 

Derek looked up and glared at The Nogitsune.

"Stiles would never play with someone's emotions like that and I will not let him get hurt." Derek exasperated.

"Is that so? Well well, i have to confess....All that talk about Stiles loving you"he said as he walked around Derek."It was a lie ." he paused

"Besides, who could be capable of loving you Derek?You are so broken, all you ever do is hurt others. You would never know what to do even if you found love, you know why?" its voice layered with disgust."Because you ,Derek Hale , have so much healing to do and Stiles is just a teenager. Did you really think he would fall for someone like you? What do you have to offer that Stiles could possibly fall for ? Your stubbornness? Your lovely quality of scaring anyone you meet?How horribly you treat the people you call your friends?"The Nogitsune's finger traced Derek's back.

"Tell me ,what is it Derek?Do you really think you have the qualities that anyone woud fall in love with?"whispered the Nogitsune"Is it your body?" it said tracing Derek's abs.Derek growled loudly.

"Stiles doesn't love you Derek,  its just an infatuation. It will pass and soon he will have eyes for someone else" it said in a low husky voice.

It felt like someone ripped out Derek's heart and stabbed him right where it hurt the most. After what seemed like years, Derek felt helpless and weak. He detected heartbeats and decided to do something to make The Nogitsune angry.

"You will never get control of Stiles, he has people who love and care about him. YOU have no power."Derek growled"You are just a living corpse  who can't do shit"

"Watch yourself u pathetic moron"it yelled as it hit Derek on his face with the log.

Suddenly the door burst open and Scott ,Noah,Chris and Allison came bursting in.

"Hey, Hands where i can see them " Chris yelled.

Kira had her sword pointed at The Nogitsune.

"Wow wow, at least tell me before you have an intervention " said the Nogitsune.

Allison came in with her bow raised and broke the wolfsbane circle while simultaneously untying the ropes around Derek's wrists and legs.Scott helped Derek up and saw that Derek was almost unconscious.Although they were wolves, if they were hurt in certain parts of their body they usually bled out for a while which seemed to be happening to Derek. 

"I think he has lost blood, we need to get him to Deaton"said Scott put Derek's arm around his shoulder while Allison took his other arm.

"We got this. GO!"Chris yelled.

Noah held onto the Nogitsune which desperately tried convincing him it was Stiles"Fool me twice"was all Noah said and had a tight grip on it.

"Nooo"Derek said drowsily"Seperate Nogitsune from Stiles.....you...need a true Alpha .. to kill it" he was slowly slipping in and out of consciousness .

"Need Kira's sword ...to stab" were his last words before he passed out.

"He said only Kira's sword and Scott's bite can  kill it once we separate Stiles from the Nogitsune"Allison said.

"Ok, Scott stay back. Allison take Derek to Deaton"Chris said

Allison nodded and left.

Chris ,Scott and Kira moved a little to plan out how they were gonna do this.

"Coat your sword with some of it "Chris said giving Kira little bit of it " Now, as soon as i fire a wolfsbane bullet into his stomach , Stiles is gonna come out while The Nogitsune falls to the floor . As soon as that is done i need u to bite him on his shoulder Scott  and Kira move behind him and stab the Nogitsune. Just as all this is happening , the fly will come out of his mouth and i will capture it.Are we clear?"

Scott and Kira nodded in unison.

"Noah I need u to trust me on this "Chris said as he reloaded his gun.

"If you kill my son i will not spare you Chris"Noah said in a threatening tone.

"I won't ."Chris said  and shot the Notgitsune in his stomach.

The Nogitsune gasped for air gagging as it fell separating from Stiles. The bullet had hit Stiles too and stiles's shirt was slowly starting to get soaked in blood when Stiles was his dad and just whispered "Dad?" with tears in his eyes.

"Stiles!" Noah yelled as Stiles body went limp.

"Take him to Melissa NOW!"Chris yelled

Noah lifted his son and took him out into his car and slammed the gear.

"Now Scott!" yelled Chris

Scott bit the Nogitsune and it screamed while Kira positioned herself and stabbed him from the back.

The Nogitsune's mouth opened wide choking .As the fly came out , Chris caught it in a tiny box.

"It's over" Chris exhaled.

"Not yet, we need to know if Derek and Stiles are ok."Scott said


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek wakes up with an old memory. He goes to visit Stiles in the hospital

" _Derek stop stop ."_

_"What now Stiles?" Derek said sounding a little annoyed. They had been training since morning and Stiles had been asking questons every 2 minutes._

_Derek was wearing a white Shirt which was now clinging on to him thank to the sweat while Stiles wore a plain black vest , both of them wore tracksto make training easier._

_"Just so you know, I didn't get anything that you just told me ."_

_"Really?"Derek said sounding annoyed.They had been training all morning in the woods by Derek's loft and Stiles kept asking questions every 2 minutes._

_"Ok listen carefully now"._

_"When someone attacks u from behind, u bend forward as much as possible,they lose their balance and hold them and pull them on the ground and pin them down."_

_"Cool dude"Stiles said "Can I try it on you?"_

_"No Stiles you cannot.That's not how it works" Derek said rolling his eyes._

_"Come on man, Don't be such a sour wolf"_

_"I'm going to get some water, be right back "Derek said walking towards his loft._

_When Derek got back he saw that Stiles was nowhere in sight. He looked around hearing a heartbeat and said "Stiles? I know you are out there "_

_He heard the sound of dried leaves being crushed behind him. Knowing it was Stiles trying to creep up on him Derek turnd quickly while aiming for Stiles's leg to make him_ _fall.He made sure not to kick him too hard and Stiles fell right on his butt yelling._

_"Hey, no fair. You can't use your werewolfy powers "Stiles said still sitting on the ground with his arms crossed over his chest ._

_"Ok whatever you say Stiles. Not my fault you cant watch your back. It's rule number 1"Derek said turning his back to Stiles sounding amused as he wrapped a rag around his arm._   
_Stiles took the opportunity and positioned his legs right at the back of Derek's knees and kicked him there making Derek fall back right in between Stiles's leg. Stiles held Derek in a chokehold and wrapped his legs around Derek's locking him in place._

_"Gotta watch your back Der"Stiles said mocking Derek._

_Somehow Stiles had gotten a little stronger since last year Derek thought._

_"See Derek, I'm not just 170 pounds of fragile skin and bones. You gotta give-"_

_Before he could finish his sentence Derek had freed himself from Stiles's grasp and pinned Stiles to the ground with Stiles facing the ground while Derek had his knees on either sides of Stiles legs with one hand holding the back of Stiles's neck and the other one holding Stiles's wrist behind Stiles's back._

_"You were saying Stiles?"Derek said._

_"Ok, ok i'm sorry . Can you let me go now , it hurts" Stiles said struggling_

_"sorry"Derek said letting go of Stiles hands feeling bad moving a little._

_Stiles turned getting up resting on his elbows to face Derek their face inches apart. Their eyes met and they both seemed lost._

_"Wanna know what's rule number 2?"Stiles said slowly smiling .Suddenly Stiles moved quickly pushing Derek on his back while he pushed his legs in between Derek's trapping_ _him and holding both his wrists by the sides of Derek's body while looking down at Derek ._

_"Never trust anyone" Stiles said smirking look right at Derek._

_"You see while you had me pinned down there I faked being in pain to-"_

_Yet again before he could finish his sentence Derek held him by his shoulders exchanging positions with Stiles now at the bottom.Derek held Stiles wrists by the side of shoulders with knees to the side of Stiles's legs while his face hovered over Stiles's._

_"Rule number 3, Never talk too much "Derek said amused ._

_"Ok fine I give up, only cause i know i'm too strong for you" Stiles said_

_"Is that so ?"Derek said_

_"uh huh "Stiles said looking at Derek who was inches away. Derek and Stiles were so close they could count each others eyelashes. None of them moved, they just stayed there looking at each other .Derek scanned Stiles's face counting the moles on his face and scanned Stiles's features. Stiles seemed to notice that Derek was now looking at all of him and his heart did a little skip.Derek heard the sudden change in his heartbeat and looked right into Stiles's eyes that were now looking up and down at Derek's eyes and lips. This seemed to snap Derek out of his faze. He got up slowly and Stiles reached one arm out as a signal to help him up._   
_Derek held on and pulled him off the ground."Is that all for today?"Stiles asked dusting himself while tying his flannel around his waist._

_"uh...yeah. "Derek said as he started to walk away confused about what just happend._

_"Hey Der"Stiles called out,Derek turned around "See you tomorrow" Stiles said smiling._

_"See you tomorrow Stiles" he replied giving the smallest smile._

 

Derek woke up a little startled with a small headache. He looked around and recognized where he was . This was Deaton's clinic. He looked down at himself he wasn't wearing a shirt and had a bandage wrapped around his head. Suddenly memories from what seemed like the previous night came flooding back. 

STILES. Derek got worried. Is he ok?Where is he?

Derek got up from the bed nd walked to Deaton's office where Scott was lying on the chair.

"Scott, wake up" Derek said shaking him .

"huh.. whaat..... Derek?" Scott said sleepily

"Scott where is Stiles? and where is my shirt?" Derek said 

"Stiles? He is at the hospital with mom and you shirt was torn ." Scott said still rubbing his eyes

"Wait , why-" Scott started saying when he heard the door close

"Great" Scott mumbled

Derek had to see Stiles but first he needed a shower.

He went back to his loft and removed the bandages from his head flinching a little when it hurt.

He got into the shower and turned the knob. Memories from the incident replayed again in his head.

_"Who could be capable of loving you ?"_   
_"Stiles doesn't love you"_

Derek put his hand against the shower wall and let his other hand run through his hair as a tear ran down his eye.

He cleaned himself and wore a green sweater with his usual black jeans and put a random ointment he found in the first aid kit on hi blood dried wound and put cotton over it and tapped it with some medical tape.

He got in his car and left for the hospital.

Derek started having second thoughts once he pulled up to the parking lot but brushed those thoughts away almost immediately and walked to the front desk.

"Stiles " he said to the lady front desk.

"Sir there is nobody called Stiles in this hospital" she replied

Derek looked at the name of the hospital that Scott had sent him"That's not possible,he was admitted here"Derek said . He remembered the conversation he had with Stiles a while back.

_"What exactly does Stiles mean?and I cannot believe your dad actually named you that "Derek said mocking Stiles._

_"Haha hilarious. Just FYI ,Stiles isn't my real name.Byeeeee" he said running away_

_"Wait what?Stiles"He said going behind him_.

"Uhm.. how about something Stillinski?"Derek said 

"We have a Mieczysław Stillinski"she replied.

"uhm..yeah him"Derek stuttered. Mieczysław? Wow Derek thought

"Room no. 364 sir " she said.

"Thank you" Derek said as he walked down the hall.

Derek knew he was close to the room when he saw Noah and Melissa sitting hand in hand while Melissa had her other hand on Noah's back comforting him. He walked towards them anxiously, and held Noah's shoulder.

Noah looked up at Derek with a sad smile. Derek kneeled in front of Noah who looked like he hadn't slept all night.

"Hey sheriff" Derek said in a hushed tone

"Derek, thank you for risking your life for my boy. I don't know if i can thank you enough."

"Sheri-"Derek started

"Please call me Noah" Noah interrupted

"Ok.. Noah. I know i want you to go home and take rest , that will be payback enough. And I know Stiles would want you to do the same. Besides, you wouldn't want your son to feel like he put his dad through so much would you?" Derek said"I will be here when Stiles wakes up. Don't worry "  
Noah cupped Derek's cheek"I will son. Thank you . "

"I'll take him home" Melissa said.

Melissa and Noah stood up to leave when Noah turned and said"You are a good kid Derek" Noah said smiling

"Oh and Derek, Stiles woke up an hour back, we spoke to him briefly....and he asked for you" Melissa said

"Thank you "Derek said smiling back at them

It had been so long since Derek felt warm in his heart.

An hour or so passed by with Derek tapping his foot anxiously and asking every nurse that entered the room if Stiles was ok. Until finally one nurse stepped out and said "The patient is awake "

"Ok..Can i go see him?"Derek said standing up

"Yes but please be careful. He is still under a lot of medication and is a little drowsy" she said.  
Derek nodded and started walking towards the door. His hand gripped the door handle and his heart started to beat faster. Maybe this is a bad idea he thought once again.

"Ok"Derek said taking in a deep breath, his heart still pumping in his chest as he pushed open the door.  
There he was.Among all those medical equipment, lying on the bed with an IV chord in his arm was Stiles.He let out the breath he was holding. Stiles's eyes were half open , he had scar right at the apples of his right cheek.He was lying there in the hospital bed .He almost started tearing up at the sight.  
This was Stiles.Their Stiles. The smart, sarcastic and lovable boy everyonr cared way too much about.

"Stiles" Derek said barely whisperly his voice trembling as he slowly walked towards the hospital bed.

"Derek?" Stiles said turning his head to look at Derek.

"Hey.."Derek said as he pulled up a stool next to the bed.

"How are you?"Derek asked him

"I should be asking you that"Stiles said in a low tone

"I'm fine Stiles"Derek said as he placed his hand on Stiles's being careful not to move the IV   
Stiles slowly lifted his hand and held Derek's hand and said"I'm sorry for everything i did , I didn't mean-" his voice trembling

"Stiles, that wasn't you, and no one got hurt. You are better now, you are safe"Derek said reassuring Stiles

"But Der, it was me behind it, I was the one who caused this" Stiles now had tears in his eyes his voce still trembeling.

"No. Stiles, you were not in control of what happend to you and thats not your fault. Somewhere in there you found a way out, you were strong to overcome it's power . Don't ever blame youself for this." Derek said sternly but in a more caring way than angry.

Stiles took a deep breath and looked the other way biting his lip trying to control his tears.

"Hey "Derek said slowly turning Stiles's face to look at him."You are safe now. We are all here for u"he said smiling a little.

"Ok..."Stiles said as a tear ran down his cheek.

"It's ok, you are better now" Derek said wiping away his tear right near the scar.

Stiles flinched a ilttle when Derek's fingers traced Stiles's scar.

"Sorry"Derek whispered looking at Stiles apologetically.

"So, Miec-zysław?"

Stiles laughed embarrassed "how did you get a hang of that?"

"The lady at the front desk told me there was no Stiles and i  got a little worried until she told me about  Mieczysław Stillinski"Derek said smirking

"Wow, Derek Hale cares . about me? shocking."Stiles said sarcastically

"Shut up Stiles"Derek said trying not to smile.

"Ok ok sorry"Stiles said still laughing a little

"Did you sleep well?"Derek asked

"If by rest you mean wait for the nurses to inject some weird stuff into me to make me sleep, then yes i did"Stiles replied

Derek scoffed "Back to the old Stiles huh?"

"I'm hoping to soon. I don't remember much from last night .....or what the Nogitsune did."He paused .

" I remember hitting you with a log....." Stiles said looking down.

"It's ok, it wasn't you....and I'm fine Stiles" Derek said just as the nurse walked in. Stiles lifted his arm off of Derek's forgetting that he had his hand there in the first place.

"It's time for you to take your pills sir"she said

"God..."Stiles said annoyed.

"Hey, I'm gonna be right here and your dad is gonna be back in some time." Derek reassured Stiles.

"Fine, fine"Stiles said as he took the pills while the nurse injected something.

"You promise you will be here?" Stiles asked slowly sounding drowsy.

"Yea Stiles i'll be here " Derek said as he walked over to the couch that was at the corner of the room.

"Der?"Stiles said in a low tone 

"Yeah?"Derek said walking towards him.

"Thank you" he said as his eyes closed

Derek smiled and ran his fingers through Stiles's hair "your welcome" he whispered. He realised Stiles meant a lot to him even if it meant Stiles didn't feel the same way.He knew that Stiles's recovery from this would not be easy. He promised himself that no matter what he would be by Stiles's side from now on. He intended to keep this promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone !thank you for the love on the previous chapter, this is the second chapter and i will be updating th next part soon. Please leave a comment on what I can do to improve or on how u liked it.


	3. How could you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles stays back with Derek after a pack meeting . A long awaited conversation ensues leading to more questions.

***2 weeks later***  
"Hey Der, serious question" Stiles said sitting on the counter behind Derek who was washing few plates after the pack meeting .They always had takeout dinner after their pack meetings while they hung out in Derek's loft. Today was no different except that Stiles stayed back and Derek didn't object .

Derek convinced himself that it was just because he wanted someone's company when deep down he knew it was something else.

"Hmm?"Derek hummed.

"When did you learn to wash dishes? Isn't that something too complex for Derek Hale?" Stiles said sounding serious.

"Haha Hilarious Stiles "he said handing Stiles the plate and continued to wash the rest of them.

"For real dude, i never imagined you knowing basic life skills" Stiles said wiping the plate and keeping it in the rack next to him.

"I learnt to get by myself once my family burnt" Derek said smirking a little knowing Stiles wouldn't be able to see him. Talking about his "family tragedy".

"oohh" Stiles said going silent.

"I'm joking Stiles, that's the only thing that can make you quiet" Derek said turning to face Stiles while handing him the last plate.

"That's so not true!" Stiles said sounding offended keeping the plate to his side. 

"Dude what's for desert? i'm hungry"

"Stiles you literally just had dinner "

"And?" Stiles asked raising his eyebrows.

Derek sighed and said " I don't have anything in the fridge but" Derek came closer to Stiles and placed his hand by Stiles's side reaching out behind him reaching for something.

Stiles held his breath as Derek came closer and placed his hand next to Stiles's, he moved by Stiles's side reaching out for something behind Sttiles. Derek's face was right by his side and his finger slightly grazed over Stiles's making Stiles's heart skip a beat.

Derek knew what he was doing and he wasn't ashamed.He and Stiles had been hanging out last week when a certain conversation came up.

_"Hey , how are you holding up?" Derek asked Stiles after their pack meeting._   
_"I'm doing better"Stiles replied._

_Derek thought about risking asking Stiles about the Nogitsune memories.He tried to convinve himself to stop when he blurted out " Do you remember what you went through?"_

_"uhm...uh.. just flashes ....um every now and then" Stiles said his heart beating rapidly ._

_That was a lie Derek thought but didn't react in any way.This meant that Stiles remembered everything, the night that the Nogitsune ..you know._

_But why would he hide it?Maybe he's not ready for it?He decided to give him some time. He has been through a lot. Derek gave Stiles the benefit of doubt yet didn't give up figuring out what exactly it was that Stiles felt for Derek. If he had feelings for Derek, if it was just a teenage crush or infatuation._  
Stiles seemed to realise Werewolves can hear heartbeats., and almost immedieately steadied his heartbeat and regained his composure.

That's strange,Stiles's heartbeat seemed to have increased pace and immedieately stopped Derek thought.

He brushed it off and gave Stiles the box "I have this, I don't remember who gave it to me".

"Heyy It's blueberry cheesecake " Stiles said cheerfully.

"Do you like it?" Derek asked scratching his head.

"Only my favorite"Stiles said "I'm gonna make this, do you have milk ,butter and eggs?"

"Wait you wanna make it right now?" Derek asked sounding a little confused.

"Ya why not? Let's make it together!" Stiles said

"uhmm no..I dont-" Derek started.

"I'm not taking no for an answer" Stiles said placing his finger on Derek's lips.

Derek's heart did a sudden jump when his lips came in contact with Derek's fingers. _Stiles cant hear you he reassured himself._  
Stiles took his finger off and said "Ok now, firstly we need.."he continued rambling as Derek tried to steady his heartbeat while looking at him.  
It had been a good amount of time since Stiles was excited about something. It put a small smile on his face that was barely noticable .He saw Stiles's mouth moving but paid no attention to what Stiles said.

Stiles turned looking at Derek with a questioning look.

"Derek?" Stiles asked.

"uhh...? What?" Derek said flustered.

"Could I have a mixing bowl ?" Stiles asked

"uhm...yea" Derek said reaching out in to his shelves to get what was required.

He just gave Stiles a couple of bowls and spoons while Stiles kept the butter , milk and eggs out.

"Ok so.. u make the breadcrumbs layer and i'll make the cheese part or whatever it's called" Stiles said.

Derek did what he had to for the breadcrumbs layer and said"uhm Stiles , I think you need to keep this in the fridge for an hour for it to harden" Derek said.

"Ok , we can do something in the mean time "Stiles said.

"Ok taste this " Derek said reaching out to give Stiles a small bite of the breadcrumbs.

"mmm.. it's good Der" He said wiping his mouth.

Derek placed the contents of it in the pan and kept it in the fridge while Stiles finished up with the cream cheese.

"Ok now taste "Stiles said as he gave Derek a small taste of the cream.

"Tastes ok to me, not that I have had this ..." Derek's voice trailed off.

"What?You haven't had cheesecake?!!!"Stiles almost yelled as he ate the remaining cream cheese from the same spoon .

"Not that I remember of" Derek said "Ok now what?What do we do for the next 58 minutes?" Derek asked.

"Let's watch a movie "Stiles said keeping the cream cheese above the fridge to clean the counter.

"Ok give me a minute I'll just wash some of these stuff" Derek said taking the utensils used for mixing everything.

"Awh man, you love washing utensils don't you" Stiles said as he sat next to the sink where Derek washed the utensils as he finished cleaning up the counter.

"I love it so much" Derek said sarcastically "There are just 3 utensils ,it won't take too long"

Stiles took some water that was running from the tap onto his hands and splashed some on Derek.

"Hey. Stop that." Derek said as the water hit his face.

"Okaaay" Stiles said as he splashed him more and more since Derek couldn't really do anything .

"I'm so gonna kill you Stiles" Derek growled.

"Mhmmm ok" Stiles said not stopping and laughing as he did.

Derek's shirt was now completely soaked and beads of water started dripping from his hair and face.

"THAT'S IT" Derek said as he finished washing the last bowl.

"Shit."Stiles said as he jumped off of the counter to try and run.

"Too slow u little shit" Derek said as he held Stiles's wrist pulling him close while ouring a bowl of water on him completely drenching him.

"Nooooooo" cam Stiles's voice before the water was dumped on him.

"How did that feel?"Derek said holding both of Stiles's wrists in one hand now.

"Felt not so great"Stiles said .

"No No No" Stiles said as he saw Derek filling the bowl with water again."Ok I'm sorry i'm sorry" Stiles said closing his eyes preparing himself to bee soaked.

Derek stopped filling water and kept the bowl and looked at Stiles who still had his eyes closed in fear. He opened them as he heard Derek place the bowl down.Stiles opened one eye peeping at Derek.

Derek saw that Stiles's hair was falling his face covering Stiles's eyes. He swept his hair to the side with the back of his free hand while his little finger accidentally grazed Stiles's lip making Stiles open both his eyes . Stiles glaned down at Derek's lips for a second before looking him in the eye.

Stiles suddenly shook his head splashing water from his hair on Derek's face.

"Stiles! I'm gonna kill you" Derek said as he splashed some water left in the bowl on Stiles.  
"Ok ok Truce" Stiles said .

"Promise?"Derek said loosening his grip on Stiles's wrist.

"Yes. Promise Stiles said.

"Ok" Derek said letting go of Stiles.

"I'll get you a change of clothes" Derek said turning around to leave the kitchen walking carefully so as to not slip and fall thanks to the water on the floor.

"Ya , listen Der" Stiles said 

"Ya ?" Derek said turning around just as Stiles yelled and sliiped and fell on Derek.

"oof" Stiles said as he landed on Derek who was now on his back on the floor.

"ohmygod dude." Stiles said resting on one arm while his other hand ran throught his hair."Sorry about that " he said still hovering over Derek .

"You can't even walk without falling" Derek said resting on his elbows regretting it instantly since his face was literally inches away from Stiles who almost immedieatelly stopped his rambling about how he wasn't clumsy. His heartbeat seemed pretty steady compared to before

"uhm.....I should get up" Stiles stammered as he tried to get back on his feet.

"uhhh... yea ..I should too" Derek said getting up after Stiles moved.

"Ok , come with me I'll give you my sweat shirt and maybe get one for myslef "Derek said realising his shirt was soaked which was now clinging on to his body.  
Stiles seemed lost as he swallowed hard while looking at Derek's abs that could be seen pretty clearly through his wet shirt.

"Stiles?" Derek called out.

"uhm.. yea?" He said placing his hands on hips

"I asked you if you wanted to borrow a shirt?"

"Yea yea" Stiles said walking behind Derek who was now going to his room.

The stairs creaked as they both walked up in silence unsure of what happend. 

"Is this ok?" Derek said holding up a black shirt .

"Yea , that will be fine, Thanks" Stiles replied as he took the shirt and proceeded to the bathroom.

"Here's a towel in case you need to ..you know dry yourself?" Derek said handing him a towel.

"Thanks Derek" Stiles said smiling a little.

"Don't mention it" Derek said smiling again just slightest bit.

Derek took off his shirt once he heard the door close and changed into a grey t shirt and sweats and went downstairs to the hall.He picked up the book he was reading and layed down on the sofa.

He was lost in the book until he heard a voice "Dude you read books?" Stiles said as he made his way down the stairs.  
Derek sat up and looked at Stiles who was now wearing Derek's shirt which was clearly too big for him and his hair still a little wet.  
He loooks so good.Derek thought , little did he know that Stiles thought the same.

"Yea I get bored too" Derek said.

"Which book is that?" Derek said.

"To kill a mocking bird, I borrowed it from Lydia" Derek said placing his book on the table down in front of him.

"ohhh cool" Stiles said "Let's watch something on the T.V " he said as he sat on the same sofa .

Both of them sat on either ends of the sofa watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S in silence.  
At last 20 minutes passed with Stiles laughing and Derek giving a grin occassionally . Until Stiles kept looking over at Derek every few minutes.

"Ok what is it?" Derek said turning off the T.V turning to face Stiles.

"huh? no ..nothing" Stiles stammered looking down drawing random patterns on the sofa with his fingers.

"Stiles.What is it?" Derek said concerned.

"uhm.. ok..." Stiles paused and exhaled "Ok so, promise me you won't get mad and you can answer only if you want to" Stiles said inching slightly closer but they were still 3

feet apart.

"Ok, I'll try "Derek replied.

"How did you manage everything by yourself after the fire?What exactly happend? " Stiles said in a comparitively lower voice than usual.

Derek let out a breath and looked down his heart a little heavy remembering the incident.   
"Der? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to..." Stiles said putting his hand on Derek's scooting closer this time.

"No, it's ok" Derek said his head resting on the couchi looking up at the ceiling.

"My mom always told me and taught me everything i needed to survive ever since i was a kid, even before the hunters......." he paused and took a deep breath still looking up at the ceiling." Ever since my mom knew about the hunters , she had warned me to be careful and always stay alert. "

"And then there was ...Kate. She took advantage of my weakness after ....after..Paige's death......She convinced me that she was different and that she would accept me for who I am..."

Derek exhaled loudly and continued"And then one night she took me away somewhere, she told me she loved me and then when I came home....I saw my house burning. I ran inside and I......I searched for my mom. She stood at the top of the steps and called out my name......Just as I ran to her..... a pillar fell in front of me preventing me from climbing up the stairs to try and save my mom..... she was right there and I couldn't save her...." Derek said in a shaky voice.

"It's not your fault Derek, Kate was a horrible huma- no. She doesn't deserve to be called a human. She took advantage of you and murdered people for just living their life. None of this was your fault ...Ok?" Stiles said placing his hand on Derek's comforting him.

"My mom's last few word were It's not your fault Derek, Never trust anybody... Now run and save yourself. "

"I cried and I begged for her to come and that I would save her ...she told me to run and never look back and the stairs sunk to the floor and was engulfed by the fire. "

"I'm so sorry Der....I didn't know....."

"Ya ....well no one does" Derek said in a shaky voice.

"Is that...Is that why you don't open up to anyone in the pack?" Stiles asked 

"What do you think?" Derek saidd turning his head to look at Stiles.

"But..Der.. we are pack..."Stiles said 

"No one Stiles..."Derek said.

"But you're telling me this?" Stiles asked

"Ya... you're different..I trust you now Stiles" Derek said gazing at Stiles with a small sad smile.

"I trust you too Der.." Stiles said smiling.

"I never asked you...How are you ?Have you gotten you memory from you know..the attack yet?" Derek asked  
Stiles's expression changed the slightest bit but his heart was pounding furiously in his chest" uhmmm yea.. no...not yet" he mumbled.  
 _He is lying again .Why is he lying?_ Derek thought.

"The nightmares have stopped but I have no recollection of anything " Stiles lied

"Stiles" Derek said exhaling.

"Yeah?"

"I know you're lying ...Why ?" Derek asked

"I'm not lying" Stiles said

"Stiles, I can hear your heartbeat" Derek said slowly"I just told you I trusted you and you're lying to me?" 

"Derek...That's not what this is..." Stiles said swallowing sharply.

"Then what is it Stiles?" Derek said " Why don't you want to talk about that night? It's been 2 weeks Stiles, 2 long ..patient weeks. I know you got your memories back last week.. I knew you were lying but I didn't push you... I just told you the most important and painful memory .. and you lie to me?" 

"Ok fine, Now you know about everything that the Nogitsune said.. What are you gonna do Derek? That night was the worst night of my life... and YOU of all people should know that." Stiles said standing up.  
"Worst night of your life?" Derek said sounding hurt.

Derek stood up and said "Stiles we need to talk about that night.. it was-"

"It was nothing Derek. Now you know how I feel and everything is out in the open wether I like it or not. What do you expect from me Derek? I hated that night. I don't want to talk about it. Please let it be" Stiles said walking away.

"Stiles- listen to me...That night was the night I-" Derek started.

"STOP!"Stiles yelled his eyes red with tears"I should've never trusted you" 

"What...Stiles WAIT!" Derek yelled as Stiles opened the door and walked towards his jeep.

"Don't pretend like you suddenly care . I know all this seems like fun to you but I know that deep down you don't care about anyone." Stiles said as he turned back one last time and got into the jeep and drove off.

Derek just stood there shocked by what had happened _.I know all this seems like fun to you but I know that deep down you don't care about anyone._ Stiles's words haunted him.... how could he? His mind flashed back to the night Stiles was captured.

 _Stiles would never hurt anyone._

_That was a lie_. Derek thought .

His knees felt weak and he gave out as he sunk to the ground. 

_This cannot be happening_ he thought. _I trusted the wrong person_ he wiped away a tear that was now streaming down his face. _Again._  
This was it. Derek got up and he slammed the door shut. 

He went to the kitchen and saw the cream cheese still on top of the fridge.   
He closed his eyes as memories flooded. No more he thought as he took the cream cheese ready to throw it.

 _Never waste food_ _Derek_  Stiles's voice echoed in his head.

Letting out a deep breath Derek finished pouring the mix into the tray and put it back in the firdge sighing.

He climbed his stairs and saw Stiles's shirt was hanging on his chair to dry.

He took it in his hands and thought _one last time. One moment of weakness._.

He climbed onto his bed still holding onto Stiles's shirt and cried until he physically couldn't anymore. He was so exhausted from crying , his head was throbbing as he fell sleep in his pillow which was soaked with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all i will be updating this fic again soon!


	4. Is this it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week or more since Stiles and Derek last spoke, What happens when Stiles finally takes the first step to talk to Derek?

It had been more than a week since Stiles and Derek spoke and Derek felt like he was better off avoiding Stiles to help get over yet another failed story. Derek avoided having a conversation with Stiles and made no eye contact with Stiles throughout the pack meeting that Scott had called .

"Ok so we all meet here in 2 days and report everything we see" Scott said

"Jeez ,you don't have to make it sound so formal" Lydia said rolling her eyes as they all walked out of Derek's loft.

"Ok, see you guys later" Scott said as they all started walking toward their respective vehicles .

Derek stood at the door his arms crossed across his chest furrowing his eyebrows as he saw the teens leave.

He made sure everyone pulled out of the drive way until Stiles was left. He was standing next to his jeep , Derek peered and looked at Stiles who was facing away from him . He heard Stiles's heart that was now pumping unusually fast. For a second he was worried and took a step front and then just turned to walk away.Just as he was about to enter his house ..

"So what.This is it?" Stiles asked" You're just gonna avoid me for the next few years?Is that what your plan is Derek?"

Derek exhaled loudly and looked back at Stiles . Stiles seemed tired, his face pale and he had dark circles like he hadn't slept in days. For a second he was worried, _Was Stiles like this last time?_ Derek thought to himself.He pushed the thought away and said "Go home Stiles, you look like shit"

 _Ouch, it wasn't meant to sound so bad_ thought Derek.

"Wow, I take the time and make the first move to talk to you and all i get is you look like shit?Thanks Derek."Stiles said.

"Pretty ironic coming from you don't you think?" Derek said turning to see Stiles who was now at the bottom of the stairs at the entrance.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Stiles asked oblivious.

Derek exhaled shaking his head took one move ahead and looked down at Stiles who was 4 feet away and said "You can't even talk about it. Wow. Go home Stiles" 

Derek turned and started walking to his door when a hand grabbed his .

"Derek please...I'm-I'm sorry" Stiles said.

Derek closed his eyes and pulled away his hand and walked into his house and closed the door. He heard Stiles's heartbeat right outside his door. He sat down with his back pressed against the door and hugged his knees with his arms.

"I know you can hear me, you would be with your werewolf hearing"Stiles mumbled" But, I need you to know ...I need you to know that I didn't react that way because I didn't care about you....I have always known or some part of me knew..I knew that I felt something for you...and not as a i like you as a friend......" 

Derek heard carefully and knew Stiles wasn't lying since he could hear Stiles's heartbeat.

"The only thing I was worried about..and always had or knew was that you would never feel the same for me. I always told myself it was nothing and that it was one sided. I-I convinced myself it was just a silly teenage crush and nothing more..but deep down I knew it was something more than that." Stiles continued his voice shaky as he spoke.

"But then..then the nogitsune toyed with me and got to know this . It-it convinced me that once you knew you would-you wouldn't reciprocate my feelings and that you would try toying with my emotions. It-It convinced me of what I feared . I -I just thought not talking about it would make you stop and everything would go back to normal."Stiles said sniffing.

"I thought it would be better to not bring it up rather than getting myself hurt ...I-I couldn't bear to see ...to see you hate me..I guess this is it then...."Stiles continued

 _Was ...was Stiles crying_?Derek thought as he got up and opened the door to see Stiles walking towards his jeep.

It was raining and was dark outside, Derek started walking towards Stiles and saw that Stiles's eyes were red and puffy.Derek grabbed Stiles's face as his thumb grazed Stiles's cheek.

"I'm sorry" Stiles said as he held onto Derek's hands and brought their foreheads together.

"Don't be, it's my fault ...I didn't know..about this" Derek said as the rain fell on them. Both of them not caring for a thing in the world.

"I-I need to hear you say it Der" Stiles said looking into Derek's eyes as he held Derek's face .

"I need to hear you say it Stiles "Derek said smiling while looking at Stiles.

They both let out a small smile and Stiles said "I love you Der" as he looked at Derek who looked so beautiful in the moonlight with the raindrops on his face.

"I love you too Stiles" Derek said as he closed the distance.

Stiles let out a low squeak as his lips met Derek's, It was a long anticipated kiss for both of them. It was a slow kiss as Stiles kissed him back.Derek kissed him gently, carefully making sure he wasn't hurting Stiles. Derek was first to pull back to get some air .

"I should have confessed long back if I knew what I was in for" Stiles joked as he ran his hand through Derek's hair while tilting his head back to look at Derek.

"Yea? Me too" Derek said as he gave stiles a quick peck.

"I could get used to this "Stiles said as he held Derek's hand and pulled him towards the loft "Come on lets get out of the rain"

"Mhmm and maybe you could stay the night? "Derek asked Stiles in a sad but hopeful tone.

"Of course. Who is gonna say not to Derek freaking Hale?!!" Stiles said as he gave Derek a kiss on his cheek.

"Shut up Stiles" Derek laughed

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This was the last chapter of this fic, This was my first fic and i hope you liked it .Please share you thoughts down below and dont forget to leave kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to give me any advice on how i can improve. Dont forget to leave kudos and i will be updating once i get enough likes. Few memories will be included in the next few parts


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